Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Signs You Might Be A Fundamentalist

A friend of mine told me about this recent thread over at Sharper Iron. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at some of them. This was what I grew up with and some of these (very funny, but often true) examples are why I am no longer a fundamentalist. Most of these I have pulled from the thread, though I will add a few of my own. Enjoy!

* If you've ever watched Sheffy on New Year's Eve.
* If you can tell a person's spiritual condition by a passing glance at their CD rack.
* If you actually believe NIV stands for Non-Inspired Version.
* If none of the preachers you know called "Dr." have earned degrees.
* If you've ever worn culottes, over snow pants, while skiing.
* If you've roller skated to Majesty Music.
* If you've heard more rock music played backward than forward.
* If you ever dressed up as a Bible character in late October for "Harvest Festival."
* If you know what a "six inch rule" is.
* If you were taught that the better option than the "six inch rule" was to place your KJV between you and your date.
* If you've had to get on your knees to have your skirt length measured, and you ever carried safety pins in your purse to pin necklines and skirt slits.
* If you are scientifically certain that the hottest flame is black.
* If you've ever raised your hand to indicate you're not saved because you were distracted during the invitation.
* If you believe NaCl (or any simple chemical formula) will leap into flames when in contact with water on the face of a man who played with it at a party.
* If you know for a fact that rock music kills house plants.
* If you have thrown a stick in either a fireplace or bonfire on a Friday night.
* If you've heard it preached that the letters in "Santa" can easily be rearranged to spell "Satan."
* If you have a Hollywood Video or Blockbuster card in your wallet but think "not supporting Hollywood" is a good reason not to go to the theater.
* If you've ever worn guys shorts (as a girl) so that they'd be long enough to "check."
* If you regularly tell co-workers that you went to a "small, private college," instead of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Bible College in a town they've never heard of.
* If you have your doubts about any preacher with facial hair.
* If you understand that the term "mixed bathing" has nothing to do with personal hygiene.
* If you have ever held hands with a girl (or guy) during the prayer at a youth rally because you knew it was the only time the pastor wouldn't be looking.
* If Sissy Seagull was your first crush. (for guys)
* If you know who Ace, Baba, Christy, and Pudge are.
* If you can't have a church picnic with the other independent fundamental churches in the area because their standards aren't the same as the church that you attend.
* If you ever changed the last part of the chorus of "Now I Belong to Jesus" to "not for the years of Tom Malone."
* If you felt "dirty" when the pastor didn't give an invitation after his Sunday night message.
* If the front of your Bible has your hand-written note of the exact date and time you were saved....from all 7 years you went to camp.
* If you checked your parents' bedroom to make sure they were still there for at least a week after your church hosted the multi-night series of A Thief In The Night movies... er, films.
* If you are offended by any of the content above.

Feel free to add your own.

Monday, August 18, 2008


My friend Tina had a post last week where she invited others to participate. Well, better late than never, so here goes.

I'm wondering . . . how long will it take me drive to the wedding this afternoon up in Oshkosh? if we can stop adding things to the "to do list" long enough for me to finish what is already on it? how it can be that soccer season is already upon us? if more of our butterflies will hatch today?

I'm reading . . . End of the Spear.

I'm feeling . . . tired, lost, frustrated, unsure

Kim is not doing well again. Nothing has changed in our lifestyle that would seem to cause any changes, yet all of her symptoms are back.

I'm wanting . . . my headache to go away. More coffee may be the answer.

I'm wishing . . . I could take my family far away for a vacation and when we came back everything was better.

I'm thinking . . . about my spiritual walk. Something is not quite right, but I can't fully put my finger on it.

I'm going . . . to a wedding at 1:30. Who gets married at 1:30 on a Friday afternoon?

I'm hoping . . . in the riches and depth of God's mercy (Eph 2:4)

Though there a lot of things going on in my life right now, my biggest problem is still me. I continue to be in debt to God and my debt grows larger every day. Yet He is rich in mercy because of His great love.

I'm thankful for . . . laughter.

Hannah's smile when she realizes I am teasing her, Caleb's unique viewpoints on everything, Alex's growing grasp on the fine art of sarcasm, and the same private jokes that Kim and I have laughed about for years . . . all of these make everyday better.

I'm clinging . . . to Lamentations 3:22-23.

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and He will never change. Any situation I find myself in does not change who God is. He has been faithful in the past, He knows where I am today, and He holds my tomorrow. I can sleep at night in His bosom and know that when I wake in the morning He will still be in control.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Our Great Need

Recently I have had a partial quote of a sermon rolling around in my mind. I had heard the sermon a few years ago and remembered the preacher, but could not remember which sermon of his the quote had come from. Well, yesterday I found it and I thought I would share it here. The quote is by Pastor Alistair Begg.

"What was the great need of the sacrifice of Jesus? What was the problem? Not our predicament, but God's wrath. God's wrath. Because if God had been complacent in relationship to sin there would have been no need of a sacrifice. But because God was so holy that He could not even look on sin, and because all of His wrath had been revealed against all of the unrighteousness and the wickedness of men, the great need was for the wrath of God to be propitiated. So that in the dying of the Son the Father's wrath is propitiated. Christ takes the burden of our sin and our rebellion and our guilt on Him. And we as a byproduct discover the wonderful provision of forgiveness, and freedom, and hope. Because in the death of Christ, He has done all in relationship to sin, He has done all in relationship to God, and He has done all in relationship to Satan." (emphasis mine)

For me, this quote brings a shift in my mind from a God who is loving, and He is, to a Holy God who demands justice. My focus seems at times to be to much upon God as the forgiving God, and that He is, but at what cost? At the cost of His full wrath and anger for my sins being poured out upon His son. May I keep my eyes on the Cross and see in a new and fresh way the glories of Calvary.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Last Friday, Kim and I celebrated our sixteenth anniversary. For the special occasion we took the kids out for pizza. In the days leading up to August 1, I began to reflect on what has changed about our relationship in those years and how our vows have become a living breathing part of our marriage. Following are a few random thoughts in no specific order.

-On a daily basis we find ourselves thinking the same thing at the same time, or saying the same thing together. It is unbelievably weird, but I love it.

-There is great comfort in having one person who will laugh with you when no one else would.

-We meant what we said about the "richer or poorer" part of the vows, but are very content living in the poorer part and doubt seriously that we will see the richer. Which is fine with us.

-Feeling completely at home can be achieved just by being in the presence of one person no matter where you are.

-Loving someone unconditionally on your own is hard work. It can be done, but it is almost impossibly hard.

-Loving someone unconditionally through Christ and His grace is much easier and more fulfilling.

-The "in sickness and in health" part of the vows seemed very insignificant sixteen years ago, but I wouldn't trade a moment of the years we have together. The hard times have always been hard, but they have also been the times when our love and marriage have grown the most. As Browning wrote, "I walked a mile with Pleasure, She chattered all the way; But left me none the wiser, For all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow And ne'er a word said she; But, oh, the things I learned from her When Sorrow walked with me."

-I could never have imagined having what we have.

-When I said "I do", I did, but I never knew how much more I would.